This is powerful. I especially appreciate your honesty in saying that your initial well-meaning ‘color blindness’ was actually harmful and dehumanizing to your friend, and also your humility in revealing just how deep your blindness went. I think many of us white folks are afraid of feeling the shame that comes from our blindness being dragged out into the light of day. What a journey you took! I struggle with white shame sometimes, where my fear of being exposed as racist wars with my hunch that this very fear proves how invested I am in a white supremicist assumption that racism is something I can hide. I hope that makes sense!