Great piece. You really nailed what white fragility is. Reading Robin DiAngelo’s book by that title was really helpful — when we white people think that having any tint of racism in their outlook or actions is = to being a bad person, we can’t admit the tiniest racist thought without going into contortions to explain how we meant well. The truth is, we are steeped in a racist system, and it’s going to show up. For me this isn’t a source of guilt, because it’s so clarifying. If my racism shows up, thank God — it’s an opportunity to take responsibility for it and deal with it.