It’s not too late. It was never too late. This is the most precious thing my two grown children have taught me about love. — My son Frank hasn’t lived at home for more than ten years. My daughter Charity, quite a bit younger, is catching up with that span of time. During their most recent visit home, I had to explain how to turn on the stove since we remodeled the kitchen recently and…

When life is stressful, the stressed become…paranoid. — I can confidently say that the chest pains I’m suffering are due to stress. See, I’m not unhinged! Therefore, the following is fully verifiable…if you know how to interpret the signs. Stay with me, and I’ll unveil the Grand Truth Tying It All Together. Life has a way of scrambling…

I Googled “pissed-off grief.” Apparently, “professionals” find it to be “unhealthy.” But what if it’s all you got? — My mother died last night. I like the brutality of the word “died.” To say she “passed” implies that she’s merely lost in the neighborhood, having passed by my house because of…well, her fog of narcissistic preoccupation. There. I said it. My mother did a great job of taking care…

You can’t fail at self-care. If something isn’t helpful, maybe you haven’t yet found your own way. — “Have you tried meditation?” “You really should do yoga.” “Journaling always helps me.” All of these are tried, true, and well-researched healing modalities. But self-care doesn’t look the same for everyone. What serves you at one point in life might be counterproductive later on. Sometimes, practices that some people swear…

There’s always a good reason why we respond to trauma the way we do. Healing means being gentle with ourselves as we understand why. — “Where is your anger?” My husband Steve asks me. He’s been a phenomenal support to my healing from a sexual assault that happened when I was very young, but I never had a much of an answer. I simply didn’t feel the rage he thought I should feel. When I…

The cure for shame is to be vulnerable with someone else who is equally vulnerable. — I’m writing this as an experiment in human connection. It’s about shame, the force that severs connection between me and other people, between me and the divine. It’s about my slow, aching turn toward home. Shame told me I didn’t have a spiritual home. Healing is leading me, slowly, hesitant…

Our creative and spiritual energies come together in healing to restore the whole self, over time. — “Every child,” said the great Flemish painter Peter Paul Rubens, “has the spirit of creation. The rubbish of life often exterminates the spirit through plague and a soul’s own wretchedness.” In the almost-500 years since Rubens was born in 1577, we’ve gained a few things: For one, it’s easy to…