How an encounter with the ghost of my grandfather began a healing process — My grandfather Joe didn’t want me to exist. After my older brother was born, he asked his only child (my mother) not to have any more children. He said it would be too hard on him to see her go through another pregnancy. She went against his wishes, and here…

The profound truth of this question can stop you in your tracks. — I needed a miracle. Desperately. My husband, my grown kids and I wanted to take a summer trip together, but there was a problem. I was the problem. I have a phobia around travel that stems from childhood trauma. I was pretty sure, based on other stuff I was going…

Before recovery, I didn’t want to be vulnerable. I was afraid I’d break. — I used to be a pro at helping people. Well, until I got into recovery. Working the steps is like leaving an egg in a glass of vinegar. The hard shell gradually dissolves, and you end up with the same egg. But it’s soft and undefended…Vulnerable. Pre-recovery, I was a…

The Still Point of the Turning World — Some friends and I were discussing things metaphysical. One friend, a believer in “woo,” said something to the effect that coincidences were a sign that greater forces are at work in the universe beyond what we can ordinarily perceive. Another, a staunch rationalist, reacted strongly — reality is physical, end…

And it lies at the core of white supremacy, colonialism, and the soul-killing aspects of Western materialist culture — Hear me out, folks. By “human supremacy,” I mean an assumption I grew up with as a liberally educated, white woman in the US: that humans evolved to be smarter and therefore superior to other species. It’s all about IQ, right? Dissect Descartes’ famous, “I think, therefore I am.” …

There’s a Shift occurring: But if we go it alone, we’re in trouble — There are a lot of “solo” spiritual seekers out there. In the West, we’re born into a culture of separation. Descartes’s “I think, therefore I am” shapes self-perception more than we realize. Obviously, daily life requires thoughts of “me” not being the same entity as “you.” Separation is necessary to…

Addicts and alcoholics are the unsung mystics of our culture, and they’re hiding in plain sight — I am an addict. The nature of my addiction isn’t relevant. What matters is that I’m in a program that takes a very deep dive into the 12 steps as laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. More than anything else, the 12 steps are a spiritual program…

When life is stressful, the stressed become…paranoid. — I can confidently say that the chest pains I’m suffering are due to stress. See, I’m not unhinged! Therefore, the following is fully verifiable…if you know how to interpret the signs. Stay with me, and I’ll unveil the Grand Truth Tying It All Together. Life has a way of scrambling…

I Googled “pissed-off grief.” Apparently, “professionals” find it to be “unhealthy.” But what if it’s all you got? — My mother died last night. I like the brutality of the word “died.” To say she “passed” implies that she’s merely lost in the neighborhood, having passed by my house because of…well, her fog of narcissistic preoccupation. There. I said it. My mother did a great job of taking care…