Before recovery, I didn’t want to be vulnerable. I was afraid I’d break. — I used to be a pro at helping people. Well, until I got into recovery. Working the steps is like leaving an egg in a glass of vinegar. The hard shell gradually dissolves, and you end up with the same egg. But it’s soft and undefended…Vulnerable. Pre-recovery, I was a…

Addicts and alcoholics are the unsung mystics of our culture, and they’re hiding in plain sight — I am an addict. The nature of my addiction isn’t relevant. What matters is that I’m in a program that takes a very deep dive into the 12 steps as laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. More than anything else, the 12 steps are a spiritual program…

The Still Point of the Turning World — Some friends and I were discussing things metaphysical. One friend, a believer in “woo,” said something to the effect that coincidences were a sign that greater forces are at work in the universe beyond what we can ordinarily perceive. Another, a staunch rationalist, reacted strongly — reality is physical, end…

There’s a Shift occurring: But if we go it alone, we’re in trouble — There are a lot of “solo” spiritual seekers out there. In the West, we’re born into a culture of separation. Descartes’s “I think, therefore I am” shapes self-perception more than we realize. Obviously, daily life requires thoughts of “me” not being the same entity as “you.” Separation is necessary to…

When life is stressful, the stressed become…paranoid. — I can confidently say that the chest pains I’m suffering are due to stress. See, I’m not unhinged! Therefore, the following is fully verifiable…if you know how to interpret the signs. Stay with me, and I’ll unveil the Grand Truth Tying It All Together. Life has a way of scrambling…

I Googled “pissed-off grief.” Apparently, “professionals” find it to be “unhealthy.” But what if it’s all you got? — My mother died last night. I like the brutality of the word “died.” To say she “passed” implies that she’s merely lost in the neighborhood, having passed by my house because of…well, her fog of narcissistic preoccupation. There. I said it. My mother did a great job of taking care…

Awesome interview! Jules, this question sparked something in me: "But people want to go on workshops about healing your emotions or manifesting abundance or having ecstatic experience. A workshop on critical thinking?" It's illuminating how you lumped those together--I would normally eyeroll over people wanting to "manifest abundance," but the way you put it underlined what I actually believe: That most people are driven by emotional trauma of one kind or another. How desperate they are to escape, how desperate I have been to escape. But I've been forced by circumstances (thanks, God!) to explore my trauma as a path to spiritual awakening. It's grueling, often terrifying, and probably just as rigourous as taking a monastic path. Western culture created an artifical separation between psychological healing and spirituality. This separation is still the domanant paradigm, but it's shifitng thanks to Gabor Mate and others. How desperately people need support!

Really enlightening story! Bad pun. I applaud these women for their integrity, and it's heartening to hear of their commitment to ethical practices. The way the word "shadow" is misused calls to mind the shadow that Peter Pan folded up and put in his pocket. It's tempting to roll our eyes at people who fall into spiritual bypass, but I get it. I have actually longed to pull off a such a magical escape--it sounds rosy and wonderful. But all my spritual practice (ALL) has thrown me smack against the walls of my trauma history. Healing can be brutal, grueling work. From a divine perspective, I'm probably lucky that I've never been able to get away with inauthenticity. From a human perspective, a spiritual bypass might be a nice vacation. These people really deserve our compassion. The disillusion, when it comes, will be so hard for them.

You can’t fail at self-care. If something isn’t helpful, maybe you haven’t yet found your own way. — “Have you tried meditation?” “You really should do yoga.” “Journaling always helps me.” All of these are tried, true, and well-researched healing modalities. But self-care doesn’t look the same for everyone. What serves you at one point in life might be counterproductive later on. Sometimes, practices that some people swear…